It’s after Valentines Day and we’re asking you what makes a relationship successful? You may be thinking, what kind of timing is this? Valentines Day is behind us and we’re in the clear! Well, what if relationships were more than that grand gesture of love on the world’s designated holiday? That’s too predictable, right?
So what does make a relationship successful? Do you keep finding yourself in the same rut? You feel you put yourself out there, and time and time again, something doesn’t work out. Keep reading because this is a twist on your typical “How-To” love guide.
Love Without Expecting Anything in Return
Now, this is a weird idea, huh! What if you loved your significant other without expecting anything back from them? It is a surprisingly rejuvenating practice to try out. Imagine that you are choosing to love your partner, whether or not they behave perfectly on a regular basis, and more significantly, whether or not they love you in return. Because if people are bound to mess up and fall short of our expectations, are we not setting ourselves up for disappointment if our relationship is built on someone else’s performance? Instead, take the reins in your own hands and choose to love the other person, the best you know how, even when they let you down. The results will have an incredible impact on your relationship. This is a selfless love.
Why does this method work out so well? Compare this love to how much you love your dogs. They aren’t called “Man’s Best Friend” for nothing. You love your dogs so much because when you’ve had a hard day, they never fail to show you unending love and enthusiasm the moment you walk in the door. Even if you don’t walk them every day and don’t show them enough attention, they still love you will all their heart. And the results of this are that YOU love your dogs. The same can be true in your relationships. Be the “dog” in your relationship with your significant other, and they will begin to be able to show you that love in return.
Have Your Own Personal Hobbies & Make Time For Them
Remember when you first met your significant other? It may have been at sports or social event, but nevertheless, when you are attracted to someone, you quickly want to learn what “makes them tick,” or what makes their “world go round.” The reason for this is because the best version of people’s selves is when they make time to pursue the things they are passionate about, whether that’s in their job or personal hobbies. When you are pursuing your passions and hobbies and making time for them, you are independently a happier and less stressful human being and therefore easier to love. And more obviously, when you are independently happy and your happiness doesn’t depend on another, it’s easier to love your counterpart. The reverse is true if you are waiting on receiving your counterpart’s love in order to make or break your day. A relationship is much stronger when you are not constantly seeking your partner’s love and affection in order to have true joy in your life.
Be The Bigger Person & Apologize – Even if You Don’t Think You Did Anything Wrong
This rule couldn’t be more important. Remember all those times growing up, whether with friends, family, or exes when there was a big argument and the whole thing went away when the other person decided to apologize? It may have not even been there fault, but for some reason they decided to say that magical phrase, “I’m sorry, will you forgive me?” Immediately, all your anger goes away and you begin to see your fault in the situation as well. Being the bigger person and apologizing first helps break the way for conversation and dialogue to occur in a more peaceful way. It’s as if you have held up the white flag and a truce can come into play. However, if neither person apologizes, your anger can stick for days and you’ll never get anywhere; the wedge will only be driven further between you two. So when that argument inevitably arises, remember that you have the ultimate “trump” card…an apology. These words can soften wounds and previously spoken harsh words and put you two back on the path of getting your relationship back in place again.
So with these three things, may your relationship gain a fresh start toward selfless love, personal contentment, and a stronger mutual bond.