Codependency

Take Back Your Independence

codependencyCodependency was initially related to those who assisted someone close to them with their addictions. Now it is a much broader term characterized by emotions and behaviors that work against healthy relationships. Codependency is a reliance on others to make you feel like you have self-worth. Most of the time it hurts your relationships. Relationships should not be one-sided. One sided relationships are not relationships at all. The time and effort put into a relationship should be recuperated. For someone who is codependent, they settle for these types of things in relationships. Healthy relationships require trust and love. Honestly is another key. If you notice someone you are in a relationship with going down the wrong path, you should be comfortable enough to tell they are wrong and help them change. A codependent person does not do that. They support negative behaviors, and that is not healthy. Codependency not only allows someone to support negative behaviors but also leaves you in a one-sided relationship.

Codependency is not healthy at all. When it comes to relationships, everyone wants to feel like an equal part of the relationship. No one likes feeling subservient to the other. Codependency is not limited to romantic or marriage relationships. Codependency can be seen in relationships between siblings, parents, and even friends. Whenever you find yourself enabling someone in negative ways, you are codependent. You want that person to need you no matter the cost. Sometimes that may make you feel good. There are certain traits those who are codependent or in codependent relationships.

Codependent Relationships – What Does it Look Like?

Codependent relationships have a tendency to be one-sided. One person nearly puts in all the effort while the other person feeds off of it. Satisfaction only comes from one person. If you are codependent, you are the one not being satisfied. You will do things to please someone else so much that you forfeit your happiness. You get nothing out of it besides frustration and sometimes abuse. A person with codependency will do whatever it takes to keep the relationship afloat even if it has already sunk. Another name for codependency is “relationship addict.” Being in a relationship is part of their identity and without one, a person can feel empty. It leaves you subject to abuse and dysfunction.

Symptoms of Codependence

Those who are codependent cannot function well without being in a relationship. They have trouble letting relationships go. When it comes to family, sometimes you cannot break up with them, but if that family member decides that he or she needs space, it will destroy you. You automatically blame yourself and can feel like a failure. Codependency is all about making you feel worthy, and you end up being a people pleaser.  You have trouble saying no even if you know morally you should. A lot of times people will use you to get what they want because they know you will do that. The way you view yourself is subject to how others view you. These people usually have low self- esteem. You just do not think you are good enough. You are only comfortable when those you are in a relationship with like you and accept you.

Those who are considered to be in codependent relationships are the enablers. They are the ones that allow the negative behavior and not only reinforces it but refuses to try to change it. There are no boundaries. Every relationship needs boundaries. A codependent allows someone to treat them with no respect. They sometimes get violated because they refuse to say no. Another symptom of a codependent person is always attempting to be the caretaker. When you are depended on by everyone, you no longer take care of yourself. It causes emotional issues because anytime someone offends you, you take it very personally. You experience feelings of rejection and depression easier that others. Understanding these symptoms may help you in your relationships.

Treating Codependence

codependencyTreatment for codependency involves therapy. Those who are codependent usually have issues that go back to their childhood. Someone or something damaged their self-esteem, and now they feel the need to find worth in other people. A therapist starts with childhood issues that may be a result of the codependency. Education is important as well. Educating a person on why they are codependent as well as opening their eyes to negative behaviors can help them change. Since a codependent suppresses their feelings, it is important to get them to feel again. They have to come in touch with themselves. Changing their self-image is major. If a codependent can see their value and worth without the help of someone else, they will be able to free themselves from codependency and being in codependent relationships. 
Codependency can leave a person suffering. You may be codependent. If you are, you should seek help. No one should be able to manipulate you into doing things that you do not want to do. Enabling those you say you love to continue with negative behaviors is not love at all. All relationships require boundaries, and you have to be strong enough to say no. If you are in a relationship with someone who is codependent, you should encourage them to get help. Do not allow them to suppress who they are to become what everyone around them wants them to be. Decide today that it is no longer okay to be codependent. Decide that you are going to break free and live life on your terms. Take back your independence.

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